So
this blog post isn’t about my time now in India but instead Nate and I have
written a joint blog post about our long distance relationship. We decided to
create a list of the things we can remember doing over the course of, mainly
the time that I was in Kenya, but also kinda over the course of our
relationship until now. They are
things-mostly little things that we believe helped keep the magic in our
relationship alive. We were together in a long distance relationship (3-5 hours
apart for the first 11 months that we dated and then we were 7-8 hours time
difference apart for the following 22 months. Now we are finally not only on
the same continent-but also in the same country/county/town/compound! And it’s
AWESOME!!!
Ideas for A Long
Distance Relationship…That Worked for Nathu + Zabet
- NEVER underestimate
snail mail- everyone loves getting mail no matter if it’s a postcard or a
package-everything is good!
- Going along with the
snail mail idea, we found that it was a good idea to number each envelope
we sent to each other and then we would know a) how long letters would
take to arrive b) if one was missing c) how many we’d sent over the course
of our time apart
- Take pictures before
you leave on 2 disposable cameras (1 for each of you) but then when you
get them developed (if you do before you leave, don’t show the other
person) and then send them with letters or postcards as a fun surprise/reminder
of past memories made
- Cut out interesting newspaper
clippings (comics, stories of interest, sweet pictures & funny
misprints) to send each other which can be fun to read but also good
reminders of current happenings to reread later
- Rarely, if ever, say
‘I miss you’- and we realize this one might seem weird. You can say I miss
you to friends and family but don’t say/write it to your one and only
homeslice cause you know it’s always implied and saying it sometimes makes
seem more real and harder to be apart-not that it isn’t hard being away
from family and friends too but you know what I mean
- Create a scenario with
the two of you doing fun things that you’d like to do together in the
future (places you want to visit/restaurants to try/parks to explore) and
tell each other these through thrilling letters, phone calls or emails
- Send little packages
of…fun things they might miss/never have seen (food & candy can be
great!) if you’re in a new place/funny things they might have no use for
except to get a good laugh
- Create an album on
FB where you can share pictures
- Make surprises for
each other and give little hints for suspense-from things as little as a
special postcard idea to a package in the mail to a flash drive
- Create a list of
things you want to do/movies you want to see/places you want to travel
when you’re together again so neither of you forget; and because crossing
things off of the list later is really fun!
- Write down your love
story thus far so you can reread it whenever you want –get the key moments
like first kiss, first ‘I love you’, first hangout, trips taken together
and any really memorable times together
- Send mix tapes! That
might sound really 90s but a) the 90s were awesome and b) getting new
music is always good especially when it’s suggested by someone you love
- You can go a step
farther than just the mix tape and send a list of hints/reasons for each
song on the CD that they can look at the first time they listen to it and
then send the list of actual artist/song names that they can check out
after a full listening
- Copy little phrases
or text messages sent that were especially cute or special in someway onto
a word document to reread later
- Send a list of Top
10 things you’re excited for when you see them
- Send dried flowers,
leaves or other things to give them the flavor of the season they might be
missing
- Create ridiculously
over-the-top cute/punny/ridiculous cards
- ‘Owl’ always love
you
- I love ‘ewe’
- I’m longing for
you (pic of giraffe or swan)
- “There is always
some madness in love but there is also always some reason in
madness”-Freidrich Nietzche
- Come up with fun
exchanges to do when you’re together – like if you do something then
they’ll do something in exchange like a dance, song or crazy dare – make
‘em as foolish as you want! Or you can create exchanges for you to do
apart and then you have to document them for each other and it’ll bring
some great laughs
- Send a journal back
and forth or two journals so that you can read/write in both and almost
always have one to continue writing in
- Send each other a
flash drive back and forth with short videos you take, pictures, little
stories or whatever you want. And my advice is if you are only sending the
USB in a regular envelope-tape it to something else like a pencil or
whatever so to disguise it a bit and then people won’t want to open it and
take it.
- Calculate time
differences and make sure the times of phone calls are convenient for both
people, and don’t over think it if one isn’t able to make a pre-decided
time.
- Explore websites to
find the cheapest rates for calling, if free Skype isn’t a possibility.
Also, buying Skype minutes is usually on the more expensive end—ex of a
cheap calling rates website: telephonekenya.com
- Exchange a couple
T-shirts or something before you depart—it helps you feel close even when
far away (take your time washing them for the first time, cause the scent
goes away).
- For the time
difference: Ironman Triathlon watches have a two-time setting—if you’re
bad at simple math, it helps.
- Send each other
stuffed animals of your sprit animal….
- Don’t be afraid to
write venting letters (about things happening in your life, but not
relationship related, just if you had a rough day) if phone calls aren’t a
possibility at the moment. It helps to get thoughts out on paper, and
maybe it can help you partner better understand the situation or even
learn something about you.
- Difficult conversion
topics can be brought up in letters initially so each person has time to
evaluate their thoughts/opinions before discussing it on the phone
- If you’re able to
send text messages, make little funny random ones/jokes/cheesy pick up
lines-to let your partner know they’re on your mind (think the scene from
Enchanted J ‘That’s How You Know’)
- Calculate when
special holidays/birthdays are coming up and how long it usually takes for
the mail to deliver and send packages filled with special items for those
days like balloons, funky party glasses, streamers, cards and confetti!
- Check out the
website: http://www.lovingfromadistance.com/thingsforldrcouplestodo.html
which has some more good ideas for long distance relationships
Hope
this list gave you some ideas if you’re in a long distance relationship-no
matter the distance! Believe in your relationship, communicate and if it is
meant to last, then it will stand against all odds.
Good
luck!
Kisses
from India,
Zabet
& Nathu
